


in the privacy of thought

by Zerrat



Category: Final Fantasy XIII
Genre: Community: fangrai-forever, F/F, Femslash, Mind Reading, Original Game Canon, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-04
Updated: 2013-08-04
Packaged: 2017-12-22 09:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/911782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zerrat/pseuds/Zerrat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lightning has a lot of regrets, in spite of her best efforts to make the most of her second chance. When she receives a call from Hope, five years on from the Fall, she realizes she has an opportunity to seize the chance she'd thought she'd lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	in the privacy of thought

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tjemd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tjemd/gifts).



> Fill for Prompt 76 on FangRai Forever - _Fang or Lightning can suddenly read minds._
> 
> This one was requested by my awesome bro tjemd in celebration of her birthday back on 25th July. It's a little late in publicly posting, but I hope you all enjoy nevertheless. XD
> 
> Thanks to [fmorgana](http://archiveofourown.org/users/fmorgana) for giving this thing a quick once over between the slew of other things I dump her with.

It was almost five years to the day since the Fall when Lightning's personal comm went off. Already irritated with the caller - and her own inability to remember to silence the device during her routine patrols - Lightning had debated allowing it to go to voicemail.

After all, Serah knew better than to call her at work, and eventually Lightning had trained Snow to her liking, too. Few others called her personally, most simply opting to pass on messages through her sister. Growling softly under her breath, she paused in her patrol of the the Paddra excavation perimeter. After a surreptitious look around, she relented, and finally withdrew the device from her hip pocket. The caller ID flashed across the comm's bright screen in the dark of the ruins - Hope Estheim. 

Lightning frowned, a little concerned. Since Hope had been accepted at the Academy research facility, her contact with him had been unfortunately limited to the rare joint functions held by the Corps and the Academy. 

_What in Eden's name could you want?_ Lightning wondered, before switching the earpiece on and answering the call. 

"This is Lightning," she said, struggling to keep her irritation from her voice in spite of her curiosity. "It's been a while, Hope."

Hope breathed a huff of laughter, amused as always by Lightning's dry rebuke. _"You're not kidding. Not since Commander Amodar sent you over to 'negotiate' the terms of the Corps' involvement with Paddra. I don't think Danvers has been the same since."_

Lightning snorted. "A year and a half, then. How time flies.”

 _"I wish I could say it's been because I've been having fun, but..."_ Hope trailed off, sounding a little uncertain. Lightning waited for him to rally his thoughts, now more concerned than ever before as to the purpose of the call. 

Had something happened over at the Academy's makeshift headquarters? Lightning doubted she'd make it to Taejin's in time to help, but if things had gone pear-shaped, she would have heard it through official sources first. If it wasn't trouble, then...

 _"Light, do you know anything about my current project?"_ Hope finally asked, and she immediately felt herself scowl. 

"Yeah. 'Project Adam', I believe Rygdea called it, along with every slur he knows." Lightning felt her voice go tight with worry. "Please tell me you have that thing under control." 

_"No, no, it's fine. Adam won't be operational for a long time, but..."_ Hope rather sounded as though he was heartily sick of that question, though Lightning wouldn't cut him slack over it. A fal'Cie, even a human-made one, was dangerous. _"As a part of building a proto-fal'Cie, I had to study regular fal'Cie and their magic pretty extensively. As a side effect of Project Adam..."_

Hope took an audible breath, as though bracing himself.

_"Light, I woke them up. I brought Fang and Vanille back."_

Lightning blinked, convinced she'd misheard him. It was getting late, after all, and she'd pulled the graveyard shift on the Paddra patrol so perhaps she was getting too fatigued. She pinched the bridge of her nose, wetting her lips and feeling a prickle of elation run through her. She thought he'd said...

"Please repeat that," she ordered, blinking rapidly and beginning to pace back and forth over the ledge overlooking one of Paddra's plazas. 

_"I revived Fang and Vanille. I woke them up, using the research from Project Adam. They're **awake** , Lightning."_ There was a tremor of excitement in Hope's voice, and Lightning could hardly blame him. If he was telling the truth, if he'd actually reversed a fal'Cie's magic and turned crystal into flesh...

The implications were astronomical. Selfish as it was, though, Lightning didn't give a damn about what that finding could do to humanity, for Cocoon or Pulse. 

"Fang and Vanille are back," Lightning repeated Hope's words back to him, and the recognition of that one, unbelievable fact made her whole body _tremble_. "I..."

 _"'We live to make the impossible possible', right?"_ Hope quoted, and she could hear the laughter in his voice. _"Who was to say that ended with the Cradle?"_

Lightning felt a sudden burst of affection for the kid she'd tried so hard to take under her wing. She shook her head, unable to stifle her smile any longer. 

Without so much as a second thought as to how much it would mean, Hope had given her Fang back. Vanille as well, but _Fang_... 

Lightning had been unprepared for just how easily her fellow l'Cie had stolen her breath away during the Focus. Fighting back to back in Palumpolum, confiding in each other and bonding over all of their worst fears and failures, pulling each other up when one of them fell...

After the Fall, when she and everyone else had been given a second chance while Fang and Vanille had been forced to continue sacrificing their lives... It had been difficult for Lightning to continue on and embrace the future she'd had shoved at her. In the end, she'd had little choice in the matter, because few understood how fal'Cie magic worked, let alone knew enough to begin to reverse the process.

She'd thought she'd let go of any half-formed dreams of something more than friendship, of putting herself out there and hoping that maybe Fang would feel the same. 

From the dizzying way her stomach had plummeted and her heart had started to hammer in her chest, her feelings on the matter of Oerba Yun Fang were very much alive and well. 

"When can I see her?" Lightning asked, feeling a nervous sort of sweat break out over her palms as she continued to pace back and forth. " _Hope-_ "

 _"Not yet."_ Hope's voice was blunt and carefully controlled, as if this had been the argument he'd been expecting all along.

Lightning angrily began to wonder why he'd bothered to call her up and _tell_ her that Fang - and Vanille, she had to remind herself - was awake and finally within her reach. 

"Hope," she said, very slowly and clearly, trying to get him to see her point of view by force of will alone. "I want to see her."

_"Lightning, you can't. Not yet."_

Every muscle in her body went rigid, and she whirled, her hands clenched into helpless fists. Maybe she'd need to call into his office, she decided a little savagely, but then again, Hope never batted an eyelid at her usual intimidation tactics. 

"Hope, so help me Etro I will hunt you and your facility down and -"

_"...Light, there have been some complications."_

Cold fear rose up from elation and irritation, washing everything else away. Etro, she'd held those words in such fearful contempt, ever since her mother had been admitted to the hospital - right before she'd died. 

_"It's Fang. The process was... Look, I need to run a few tests, but for now I just want you to stay at a safe distance. She's not quite..."_ Hope paused, clearly struggling with trying to get his point across. Completely unmoved, Lightning let the silence continue into awkwardness. 

_"We both want her to come out the other end of this thing, right? So work with me. I'll give you a call when it's clear, just... Hold on,"_ Hope finished, sounding like he knew exactly how pathetic his argument was. 

"Got it," Lightning said, keeping her voice light and carefully neutral. There was really no point arguing with him - Hope held all of the cards. That's what she'd keep letting him believe, anyway. 

_"I - really?"_ Hope asked, perplexed by her sudden change in stance. Lightning let a reluctant smile lift the corner of her mouth. 

"Message received loud and clear. I've got a patrol to get back to, if you don't mind."

Lightning ended the call quickly then, her mind already running a thousand different scenarios on where Hope would have run the experiments, where he might have stowed Fang and Vanille for recovery, and how likely it would be that Fang would have already ditched the place thanks to her stubborn pride. 

She'd be damned if she left Fang to struggle through her issues on her own - and considering how she was back in the Cradle, Lightning thought she understood exactly what sort trouble Hope had been alluding to. She could help. She just needed to _be_ there to do so. 

A plan quickly forming in her head, Lightning set about completing her patrol.

###

If Hope thought his secrets were safe in an office, even one as secure as the Academy's research department, he was rather sadly misinformed. Once she'd worked out the details of her plan of action, Lightning had made her way to the Academy headquarters in Taejin's Tower and deliberately timed her visit so that her ex-protege was attending a lunch meeting with one of the board members. 

It was very 'unfortunate' Lightning had missed him, his personal assistant had told her as she'd been led over to his desk. Lightning had been quick to reassure the assistant that there was no harm done, that Hope had not been expecting her to come by so soon... and as she cast an eye over Hope's immaculate, locked-down desk, her heart sank a little. Of course he'd be one of the few still following that protocol...

She wasn't quite out of options, though. 

"Hey," Lighting asked the assistant, meeting the woman's eyes with a small smile. "Has Hope been receiving any calls from a woman with a strange accent?" 

"Oh, yes." The woman frowned, as if unsure how much to disclose. "A couple of times a day."

_Bingo._

Lightning allowed her smile to widen a fraction. "They happen to be mutual friends of mine, but unfortunately I ended up losing their numbers when my comm fell out of my pocket. Smashed everywhere - you know how it is, of course." 

"Of course." The assistant nodded in commiseration, but offered little else. 

"I'm sure Fang and Vanille would love to hear from me, though." Lightning deliberately dropped the names, watching in satisfaction as recognition flickered in the woman's eyes. "Would you mind if I copied down that number?"

Apparently seeing no harm in providing those contact details given the name drop, the assistant quickly checked the details on her private organiser and reeled off the number. 

Lightning thanked the woman - genuinely appreciating the gesture - and quickly left the Academy headquarters before Hope could return from lunch and catch her in the act of directly defying his orders. 

Broken trust or not, Lightning had far bigger concerns to deal with if Fang's mental state was as bad as she feared.

###

Back in the privacy of her room, in the makeshift row of cabins constructed at the edge of Paddra's excavations, Lightning brought up the digitised map of Gran Pulse. The Corps had put together a detailed and exhaustive resource on the lay of Pulse's land shortly following the Fall - something that Lightning was going to find dead useful in tracking down where Hope had stowed Fang and Vanille for their recovery.

Zooming the map out, so that it showed the whole of Gran Pulse's southern continent, Lightning withdrew her comm and after a few moments of hesitation, entered in the number she'd been given. There was no sense in backing out now.

She listened to the dial tone, her heart pounding and her palms pricking with sudden sweat. 

_"Hello? Who is this?"_

Lightning jerked, blinking rapidly and trying to gather her wits. It had been five years since she'd heart Vanille's upbeat, sweet voice. A part of her still couldn't believe it had happened, but here it was, undeniable proof that Hope had really stuck it to the fal'Cie's last curse. 

"Vanille," Lightning breathed for a moment, before swallowing and shaking her head. She had to focus. She had a job to do. "Hope told me you were awake, I just... It's good to hear your voice."

 _"Lightning?"_ Vanille gasped, and Lightning winced as she heard the girl fumble her comm device. _"It's been so long!"_

"Hardly your fault," Lightning said, a little amused. She'd been so intent on Fang's return and her own feelings on it, that she'd neglected to process just what it meant to her to get Vanille back, too. "Talk to me, how are you guys?"

_"Getting settled, though you know how it is. So much to do and repair!"_

Honestly, Lightning didn't really know how it felt to wake up after having missed five years, and then prior to that, five hundred. She made a sound of agreement in any case, flicking around the digital map. If they were "getting settled"...

She winced again as Vanille fumbled the device, and she heard another voice talking in the background. 

_Fang._

Her whole body had wound tight, as if she was on the precipice of a serious fight. Her senses felt keen, honed and ready, her earlier worry evaporating. 

_"It's Lightning,"_ Vanille told Fang in the background. _"You should talk to her!"_

Lightning couldn't make out whatever the response was, but from the way Vanille huffed at her, it hadn't been remotely satisfactory. 

_"Stop acting cactuar and talk to her! You have to do it **sometime**."_

Privately, Lightning completely agreed. Even if she couldn't see Fang yet, then maybe talking to her would ease the distracting ache that had started up in her chest ever since Hope's call. 

There was a loud _clunk_ as Vanille set the comm down on a surface, and Lightning listened to them exchange a few rapid, bitten-off arguments. Her lips twitched in a smile as the arguments descended into a stony, stubborn sort of silence, but if Vanille played as dirty as Serah did, Fang really didn't stand a chance. 

Finally, Lightning heard someone pick up the comm. Was it Vanille again, or -

 _"Lightning,"_ Fang said, her voice even and carefully formal. Lightning really didn't care - it had been the first time she'd heard Fang's voice in five years, and it made the dull ache in her chest grow sharp and choking. No more wasted time... She had a second chance, and she was going to grab it with both hands.

"Glad to hear you finally woke up. I knew you were a heavy sleeper, but..." Lightning couldn't keep herself from smiling - it still felt a little like a dream. 

On the other end of the line, there was a long pause. Just as Lightning was about to open her mouth to fill the silence again, she heard a quiet, worn out chuckle. 

_"It's a nap I could have done without. They tell me it's been five years."_ Fang's voice still sounded a little flat, though now there was a reluctant undercurrent of the warmth Lightning knew was in there.

"Yeah. I knew you'd make it back, though. One way or another." Lightning exhaled sharply, her smile fading into an almost wistful regret. She'd wished things had been different, that Etro had seen fit to reward Fang and Vanille in the same way the other l'Cie had been, instead of leaving that task up to Hope. They'd deserved a life and a future of their own. 

At least they'd get that chance now. 

_"Always so certain, aren't you?"_

"And I've been right each time, haven't I?" Lightning's smile grew again, and the closed her eyes and simply appreciated the fact that she was talking to Fang again. She'd imagined having this conversation so many times. Those dreams had never quite lived up to the reality of having her back.

Fang laughed then, and it was genuine. _"Careful, that ego of yours might need to get cut down to size."_

"And you think you're the one to do it?" Lightning snorted. "Don't make me laugh. Chances are you've forgotten how to throw a punch, let alone use a spear."

 _"I'll have you know that with age comes great wisdom, and I am some five hundred years your senior."_ Her earlier, wary fatigue gone, Fang actually sounded a little teasing. That was good - and more than Lightning had dared hope for. _"Get your backside over here and I'll prove it to you once and for all."_

"Oh, it's on." Lightning looked down at the map of Gran Pulse again, more than willing to make the journey but unsure if Fang would let her. "Give me a location, and I'll be there." 

Fang went silent, and for a moment, Lightning was worried she'd simply ended the call. 

"Fang?" she ventured, worry prickling hot-cold in her stomach.

 _"Just - just thinking. It's been... It's been really great to talk to you."_ Fang's voice sounded as wistful as Lightning herself felt, and that was all the confirmation she needed. _"It's quiet out here, without you lot poking around. It's still good to be home."_

Lightning's eyes narrowed. _Oerba. I should have guessed._

"It's been great to talk to you too, Fang." Lightning tried to lay as many of her choking, intense emotions in the words as she could, before she ended the call. 

She leaned forwards, burying her face in her hands for a moment and feeling emotionally drained. The day had been a long one, and it was far from over. She'd already made her leave arrangements with her superior, so not keen on wasting another moment, Lightning grabbed her gear and left the excavation site.

###

When Lightning arrived in Oerba that afternoon, it was blatantly obvious that people had been making use of the derelict town. As she wandered through the rusted, crystal-dusted buildings, she could see signs of recent combat that must have eliminated the remaining cie'th. More, there were signs of salvage and repair, and...

Lightning snorted under her breath, pausing when she rounded the corner of a street. It was even easier to work out exactly which building Fang and Vanille were calling home, given the rather extensive repairs that had already been conducted. She could see the beginnings of a small garden out the front, which surprised her - just how long had they been awake? 

As Lightning approached the small house by the waterfront, she spied movement through one of the windows. A flash of blue, of course it had been, and she watched the door slowly swing open to reveal the tall and sorely-missed figure of Oerba Yun Fang. 

The woman didn't move to greet her, halting on the porch steps, her weapon in drawn and simply watching as Lightning continued forward. 

Her heart in her throat and her whole body tense, Lightning couldn't help but drink in Fang's every curve, angle and scar. Etro, she'd been so afraid she'd never see this woman again. Not alive, anyway. 

Lightning paused at the base of the porch steps and just _stared_. Five years of crystal stasis hadn't changed how incredibly striking the woman was, and after so long, she was the most beautiful thing Lightning had ever seen. 

Fang cheeks inexplicably went red at that very moment, her grip tightening and shifting on the ornate haft of her spear. Lightning just watched her in the afternoon sunlight, completely at a loss as to what to say.

"Lightning." Fang's voice sounded both weak and strangled. Her eyes had widened just slightly, as though she couldn't quite believe what she was seeing. "You... You actually showed up?"

"Of course I did," Lightning told her with a quiet scoff, and the burst of warm affection she felt made her stomach clench pleasantly. "Not even Etro herself could keep me."

She watched Fang swallow, and was it her imagination or did that odd flush grow darker? She seemed distracted, Lightning noted with a cold, sinking feeling in her stomach. What was going on? Was it why Hope had warned her away?

"You okay?" Lightning asked, and Fang simply shook her head with a jerk.

"I - I'm fine. Just..." Her voice sounded uneven and slightly hoarse. "You're really... You're happy to see me?"

She phrased the obvious almost as a question, and Lightning could have laughed at her. 

"You know it." Lightning smiled, looking her over once again. Etro, it was so good to see her. "Hope said you were... Well. He strongly advised against a visit, though."

"Did he, now?" Fang asked slowly, and when Lightning looked up to meet her eyes, there was a deep sort of wariness to her expression. "Maybe he's right."

Lightning made a sound of irritation. "You're my friend, and that's all I care about." 

Fang looked down at her spear in her hands, chewing her bottom lip. Her eyes were always so expressive, and Lightning could practically see the war of emotion. Was Fang happy to see her, or had she done exactly what Hope had feared and made things worse? 

"Lightning," Fang said, after what felt like minutes of awkward silence. She hesitated again, running a feverish hand through her hair. "There's something -"

"Lightning!" Vanille burst out from the small house at Fang's back, her smile as brilliant as Lightning remembered. "You made it!" 

Lightning accepted Vanille's offered hug without a qualm. It was a much warmer welcome than she'd gotten from Fang so far - she saw the woman look off to the side, her mouth twisting in a strange expression - but she hadn't expected any different. 

Releasing Vanille quickly and stepping back, Lightning said, "As I was telling Fang, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I waited any longer." 

Vanille shot Fang a sideways look that rather plainly said "I told you so", but Lightning carefully avoided stepping into that sisterly argument. Vanille took in the bag slung over her shoulder, nodding to herself and looking pleased.

"Then you'll be staying for dinner?" Even before Lightning confirmed it with a nod, Vanille clapped her hands together, her expression suddenly very thoughtful. "Well, why don't we do something more traditionally Oerban?"

With a growing sense of worry, Lightning wondered what _that_ was supposed to mean, and she heard Fang release a breath that sounded a lot like a snicker. 

"Oh, stop making that face!" Vanille exclaimed with a laugh. "I've never heard you complain about my fire-roasted gorgonopsid _before_."

That was true enough - Lightning allowed herself to relax a fraction. Fang was shifting, her grip tightening and loosening on her weapon in something very close to _nervousness_.

"That _will_ mean that you and Fang need to go hunting this afternoon." Vanille clasped them both by the shoulders, her expression bright and completely innocent. 

Fang, however, was looking at Vanille with narrowed eyes, while Lightning looked between them in growing confusion. She and Fang had been hunting together before, and it had never been an issue. Hell, those memories of marks on the Steppe had been some of her fondest -

Fang resettled her shoulder, and cleared her throat.

"Anything else for the cook?" she asked, sounding unsteady - at Lightning's glance, she flushed again and began to study the ornate design of her lance. 

Vanille shook her head. "Don't worry, I'll take care of everything. Now, you and Light go and have your little catch-up, I'm sure there's a _lot_ you want to talk about! And you'd better head off soon!"

She quickly grabbed Lightning's bag, giving them both a wave before vanishing back inside the small house. Lightning watched the door click shut behind her, amused at the bluster and frenzied energy that "Cyclone Vanille" usually brought, before looking back to Fang.

Fang, on the other hand, still looked distinctly uncomfortable, and when she caught Lightning's sideways glance, her flush deepened again. With a somewhat awkward twirl, she shouldered her lance, and the smirk on her lips looked entirely too lopsided to be natural.

"Well, orders are orders. We'd better get to it," Fang said after a few moments, and Lightning nodded. 

At the very least, a hunt would definitely give them enough time to _talk_ \- and for her to find out exactly what was wrong with Fang since her awakening.

###

They headed to the land east of Oerba, and after an hour or so of walking, they reached a wide, open plain. The area - Narrajurra's Flat, Fang had called it, though the Corps had named it something else entirely - was a lot smaller than the Steppe, but apparently it was still large enough to host much of the same fauna.

It was wide, open and sunny, and in the distance, Lightning could see adamantoise moving slowly through the field.

Fang had been quiet throughout their walk, which had suited Lightning just fine. She'd contented herself with simply enjoying the fact that she could hunt with Fang again after so many years. Just two days ago, she'd thought she'd lost that chance forever. As irritated as she was with Hope for his warning, he'd still given her that much.

She'd known the Pulsian hunter just ahead of her was good, but Fang had picked up the tracks of a pack gorgonopsids even more quickly than expected.

They began to follow the tracks though the flat, but that quickly came to an end as they hit a rocky stretch of land to the north. They threaded their way through the minefield of boulders, loose stones and gnarled scrub, continuing to track the gorgonopsid pack.

"I've gotta ask," Lightning started, finally sick of the quiet and more than eager to _talk_ to Fang. "Why gorgonopsids specifically?"

"Flavour," Fang said, her voice a little vague. She kept her eyes steadfastly on the tracks, much to Lightning's disappointment. "I know you've had it, back during the whole Focus business. Difference is, Vanille's planning an Oerban twist on it, since she's got the ingredients now."

After a few moments of silence, Fang seemed to relent, looking back over her shoulder and giving Lightning a small smile. "You'll like it, promise." 

Lightning nodded, ready to accept Fang's decision on the matter. But Etro, the way the golden afternoon sunlight lit up her tanned skin and highlighted every stunning feature was enough to steal Lightning's breath away.

_You look even better than I remembered..._

Fang's smile grew a little wider then, even if her cheeks had reddened. Shaking her head, she turned her gaze back to the tracks they were following.

"I've missed you," Lightning heard herself say, loath to waste the moment.

Fang's eyes snapped back to her, and for a moment, she said nothing. Her green eyes looked deeply worried, and her expression was one of conflicted indecision again.

"I can tell you missed me," Fang said finally, her voice is soft and uncertain. She looked as though she was on the brink of letting it all out, just the way Lightning had wanted, when growls sounded from the rocks all around them.

"Looks like they heard us coming," Lightning commented, drawing her weapon quickly as she saw shadows flit through the nearby boulders. "Must have circled around."

She wasn't concerned, in spite of the ambush - she'd handled enough of these during the Focus that she was certain they could do it blindfolded by now. Fang laughed harshly, spinning her lance into a ready position and smirking across at her.

"You're looking pleased with yourself," Lightning said, sending off a flurry of elemental spells to give her some breathing space as the first monster lunged from the rocky landscape. Her eyes cut across to Fang, eager to watch the way the woman's shoulders tensed and worked as she hit out in a massive, diagonal cut. The blow sent the closest gorgonopsid flying into a boulder with a lethal-sounding _crack_.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Fang asked. There was a teasing and almost upbeat lilt to her voice as she reversed her cut and stabbed out at the gorgonopsid that had threatened to attack her from behind. "The sun is shining, the air is fresh, and I couldn't ask for better company!"

Lightning looked over her shoulder, admiring the flow of dark hair down Fang's back, allowing her eyes to stray lower for a moment and taking in the curve of -

Fang fumbled her cut, cursing viciously to herself as she hurriedly blocked the snapping jaws of the gorgonopsid she'd failed to one-shot like the rest. The muscles in her arms and back flexed, and Lightning almost forgot to continue to fight as she watched.

The way Fang moved - with strength, precision and certainty - was incredible. A deep ache in Lightning's stomach started up as she watched the woman sweep her lance out wide and crouch down for a flying Highwind. The way those thighs flexed with raw power...

Without really realising it, Lightning allowed her mind stray into the gutter, as she often had during the Focus. She wondered what it would be like to run her hands over Fang's shoulders and down her back. She'd tangle her fingers in dark locks, press the other woman up against the cold tiles of the shower taste her mouth and skin, trailing kisses down between her breasts and letting her fingers slide along the insides of Fang's thighs -

Fang landed badly, her Highwind strike completely forgotten as she staggered. Her eyes were wide, fixed on Lightning seemingly in utter shock.

Frowning, Lightning quickly finished the last of the gorgonopsids - something Fang had failed at twice now, which was unlike her.

The woman had stopped staring by the time Lightning had stepped back from the last monster, still frozen to the spot she'd landed, and still blushing hard. She wasn't quite able to meet Lightning's eyes.

"Fang?" Worried, Lightning moved forward, resting her hand on the woman's tense shoulder. "Fang, talk to me. Please. What's all this about?"

"I - I just, Lightning-" Fang cut off, shaking her head feverishly, looking everywhere else but Lightning. After a few moments, she seemed to rally, and that was when she looked up. There was desperation and fear in her eyes, the twisted emotions horrifyingly intense - reminding Lightning vividly of Orphan's Cradle. That hit her like a suckerpunch - why did Fang fear _her_?

Fang's knuckles were white as she shifted her grip on her spear, and finally, she began to speak. "When I woke up, something - something was _different_."

With a cold clarity, Lightning knew she was not going to like whatever it was Fang was about to tell her, but she nodded once.

"When I awoke, something from stasis hadn't reverted." Fang blew out a breath, shaky and shallow. "Lightning, I - I can read people's minds, like I could in stasis. I can reach out and -"

She cut off and looked away, her jaw clenching.

Lightning's breath had frozen in her chest, though. The implications of Fang's words were not lost on her in the least.

_So that harmless indulgence..._

"Yeah," Fang breathed, her blush growing even darker, and she looked determinedly off into the distance. "I saw all that as if it were my own. I had no idea you... that was quite a... _vivid..._ "

Lightning's whole body felt like it had gone numb in shock and horror. "I see."

That meant that ever since she'd arrived in Oerba, all of her private thoughts and fantasies had been _out on display_ for Fang to peruse at her leisure! The idea made panic well up in her chest, strangling in its intensity. She hadn't intended on telling Fang yet - until two days ago, she'd thought she'd never _get_ that chance at all -

"Light..." Fang stepped forward, her lance loosely held at her side and her other hand open in some sort of attempt at reassurance.

It was far, far too late for minimal effort at damage control - she'd let Lightning make a complete fool of herself, she'd known and said _nothing_. The "how" of Fang's abilities hardly mattered, but the outcome...

Lightning moved without thinking, her shock and embarrassment morphing to red hot anger in the space of an instant. She flashed forward, slogging Fang hard across the jaw and sending her staggering into the surrounding boulders.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" Lightning snarled across at her, her whole body practically shaking in fury. Fang hadn't lied to her, but the omission was just as damning.

Fang wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, and she winced as she pushed herself up with the help of the boulder. "I would have! I didn't expect that - Light, _most_ people don't lovingly detail how much they'd love to have their way with me! I thought I could handle it!"

Her voice cracked up toward the end, and her cheeks flushed bright red again.

"You thought you could 'handle it?!" Lightning repeated, her voice raising several octaves. She still couldn't believe it - the flagrant violation of privacy and trust was so... She'd never been this angry, not since the early days of the Focus. "You still should have said! _Vanille_ should have said! Now you -"

Lightning couldn't handle it - just looking in Fang's direction made her want to kill something. She'd been an idiot to ignore Hope's warning. She turned on her heel, stalking back to the open flat they'd only barely left behind and heading for Oerba. She was completely done with Fang and Vanille for now. She needed to go home, try to regather her thoughts without risking -

"Light - please just -" Fang cut herself off, and there was a note of tight panic in her voice as she matched Lightning stride for stride.

Rounding on Fang, she shoved the woman hard in the chest and watched her stumble backwards. Fang's expression looked stricken, less at the force of the blow and more that it had happened at all. Lightning couldn't let herself just forgive that, she _couldn't_ -

She took another swing at Fang's jaw, and this time it was redirected as the woman threw up an arm to block the strike.

_Damnit, fight back!_

Fang's expression grew tense and dark. "Fine. I will."

The scuffle on the flat was both short and brutal. Lightning didn't hold back, striking out with every ounce of humilated anger that still bubbled hot and painful inside her chest. Fang had an edge though - she blocked or stifled every punch, kick and grapple before they had a chance to execute. It was clear what she was doing, but Lightning was far beyond caring.

Finally, with a frustrated growl, Fang's hands lashed out. She seized hold of Lightning's collar, pulling her up, off balance, and unbearably close. The scent of Fang's shampoo, sweat and warmth made Lightning's breath catch in her throat, and for a moment she felt completely disarmed.

"Cheater." Lightning spat the word, but she relaxed to let Fang know she'd won.

Fang's pale eyes narrowed in response, her expression conflicted and hurt again as she loosened her hold. Lightning stepped away from her, crossing her arms and looking into the distance.

"Light, please just listen to me," Fang said, her voice tense and almost pleading. "I know what I did was really shitty-"

" _Talk_ , then. Just talk." The sooner Lightning got her answers, the sooner she could go and be humiliated elsewhere.

Fang swallowed audibly. "I don't want you to go."

Lightning didn't say anything, refusing to be drawn.

After a moment, Fang laughed - an unsteady, nervous and breathy sound. "It was my idea, to keep you away. Not Hope's."

 _That_ was not what Lightning had expected. Why had Hope called, then? 

_To push me into action? Had this confrontation been his design from the start?_ Lightning wouldn't have put it past him, and she allowed her gaze to flicker across to Fang for a moment. Vanille had a hand in this too. She couldn't forget that.

"I was... I was afraid. This thing in my head... When you feel like you've got the world itself to risk..." Fang shook her head, wetting her lips. "I thought it'd be better to stay away. Thought that maybe it'd pass."

Lightning said nothing. That still didn't _tell_ her anything, and it did nothing to solve the bitter anger still stewing in her chest. But Fang had always been so protective and scared of losing what she loved...

Etro, why was her resolve wavering so quickly?

"Then _you_ called, and I... Vanille _knew_ you were the only one I've never been able to say no to, not really. You make everything so much clearer. Back in the Focus, you gave me hope, made me think I could be better than I am. And that means _everything_." Fang's voice held a tremor, and it was unmistakable now. "If I lost you, I thought, I'd never be able to live with myself. But then you called and I needed more."

"And damning as it is, I wanted to see you. And then you were there and it was like everything I'd ever asked for." Fang sucked in a breath, suddenly very interested in the carved designs in the pole of her lance. Somehow, in spite of her obvious anxiousness she kept talking - Lightning had to give her that much credit. "But this thing was still in my head, and I tried to tell you... And suddenly losing you became all the more scary."

"Not going to lie though - it was nice... just knowing... for once in my life. Just honest emotion." Fang looked up then, meeting Lightning's eyes squarely. She looked more afraid now than Lightning had ever seen her show in battle. "You're surprisingly good at that, for all your pretenses."

Lightning remained silent, her mind churning with conflicting emotion. Fang's lie of omission had meant that she'd been made a complete fool. There was no changing that she should have been told. But it was still _Fang_ , and everything she was saying was heartbreakingly true.

She knew she was acting out Fang's worst fears - losing her loved ones and being unable to make a difference.

Lightning sighed, feeling her tension bleeding away as she did so. "You know how angry I am."

Fang laughed shortly, and the sound was bitter and harsh in Lightning's ears. "Very clearly."

"You understand why?" Lightning pressed, meeting the woman's eyes directly. Fang simply raised an eyebrow, her answer obvious.

"Dumb question. Right." Lightning sighed again. She pinched the bridge of her nose, still struggling to get her head around everything Fang had told her so far. "So I can't surprise you, now?"

"Oh, you're always surprising. I still get shocked at how stubborn you are when you think you're right." Fang's smile was crooked and oddly shy, and she met Lightning's eyes again with a bit more of her usual confidence. "And, like I mentioned, it's really only the strong or... _vivid_ business. I was a bit unprepared for today."

"Likewise," Lightning murmured. She didn't want to stay angry at Fang. It wasn't hard to let it go, either. Not when she considered that two days prior, this... this _mess_ would have been preferable to seeing Fang locked in stasis a second longer. "So now you know."

She'd be lying if she said that she wasn't upset at having had that freedom of choice stolen from her - some of that sentiment must have bled out, because Fang's smile crumbled.

"I'm sorry, Light." Fang looked down at the ground, and there was a stark, almost primal fear in her expression that made Lightning's heart ache. "This is what I was so damn afraid of - that I've ruined everything just because I couldn't bloody say -"

Lightning didn't stop to think - she leaned forward and pressed her lips gently against Fang's own, swallowing every reservation she had over the 'mind reading' issue just to wipe that look of anguish away. She still cared, she was still upset, but the concern was secondary. Tertiary, and rapidly dwindling as she savoured the feel of Fang's mouth.

Through the hand she'd somehow knotted in the silken sari, she felt Fang's body go rigid in surprise - before the woman responded hard.

Fang's lips were smooth and soft, her kisses clinging and desperate for reassurance - something that only Lightning could give her. Taking the signal for what it was, Lightning unwound her fingers from the sari, sliding her hands up over warm, tanned skin so she could cup Fang's face with her freed hand. She wrapped her other arm around the back of the Fang's neck, the wild, dark hair tickling her bare skin as she pulled the woman down and closer.

Fang's whole body _shuddered_ at the simple, open gesture, and Lightning allowed her to finally pull away. The woman buried her face in side of Lightning's neck, her breath coming hard and unsteady.

The intensity of Fang's relief at the open confirmation of continued love and trust was almost a physical presence, and Lightning found herself murmuring soft, reassuring words just to get the point across.

_I'm not going to go anywhere - it's a promise._

"Thank you, Light," Fang breathed against her neck, barely audible at all. Lightning simply kissed her hair, tightening her grasp around the woman's neck and waist and just... being there.

When Fang finally pulled away after Etro knows how long, her eyes were slightly bloodshot - but the open, genuine smile on her lips was enough to take Lightning's breath away.

"You know," Fang said after a moment, oddly conversational now. She tilted her head, her smile growing a little more sure. "I did rather like the shower one."

Lightning flushed hotly, incensed that Fang would dare bring it up again so soon - but she had an idea.

"You mean the one where I completely owned you?" Lightning asked, her voice deliberately even and her expression carefully schooled.

Fang frowned across at her, confused and for good reason. "But you didn't-"

Lightning scoffed, still feeling a little unsteady from... everything. "Oh. I must be thinking of _this_ one."

With as much vivid detail as she could manage - sensation, scent, and sound - she dragged up another shower scene in her head. It was different than the original one that had blindsided Fang so badly in the fight with the gorgonopsids - a fantasy in which Fang begged, trembled and writhed under Lightning's fingers. She let herself linger on the image, on the thought of threading her fingers through wild dark hair, scraping her teeth in long, dragging kisses along Fang's collarbone, of feeling the woman shudder as she climaxed. 

It had precisely the desired effect - Fang immediately choked and went bright red. After listening to the woman splutter for a moment, Lightning allowed herself to smile and let the fantasy fade away. She watched Fang run a flustered hand through her wild hair, struggling to recoup the final shreds of her dignity.

Lightning wasn't going to forgive the invasion of privacy, whether it had been intentional or not - but she rather thought there could be a benefit to Fang's new ability, all things considered.

With a small laugh, she clapped the still-blushing woman on the shoulder, nodding back to where the gorgonopsids waited. It was getting dark, and they'd need to return back to Oerba with one of their kills soon.

Fang didn't seem too worried - she still looked absolutely elated by that day's turn of events - even if she did grumble good-naturedly as she fell into step. Lightning felt a warm hand snag her elbow, and all it took was a look over her shoulder before she felt herself get pulled in for another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Most of my "Lightning trolls Fang" happens from Fang's perspective, so it's nice to mix things up and show it from the other side.
> 
> As always, if you'd like updates as to current projects or just want to chat, feel free to come visit me on my tumblr: [zerrat](http://zerrat.tumblr.com/) (personal) and [zerratwritesstuff](http://zerratwritesstuff.tumblr.com) (writing)!


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